ARE YOU IN EXILE?

Are you in exile?

‘Compliance causes a shocking realization that must be registered by all women. That is, to be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves.’
Women Who Run with the Wolves.

I see this with many of my clients as well with the former version of myself that was in the perpetual cycle of complying, fitting in, doing what I ‘should’ do, looking a certain way, ticking all of the boxes…

Which led too….

Numbing & living in the middle zone of not really alive & not really dead either. Just kind of here.

It created a perpetual cycle of ‘being the good girl, fitting in, doing what everyone else was doing’….feeling confined & bound by wearing all of the masks which led to…

numbing as a means to escape & feel an ounce of freedom for just a moment - which can look like alcohol, drugs, consumerism…..

which led to going into deep guilt & shame for the over consumption and then retreating back into the good girl ways and acting like you have it all together so the guilt & shame for the over consumption will go away, you put yourself back in exile to fit in & be ‘normal’…..

and then you want a glimpse of freedom, you want to escape and so the numbing takes over again and so the cycle continues…..

But all you really want is to stop abandoning yourself, to not feel confined & to be who you actually are.

To not exile yourself.

Was I actually the binge drinker, the party girl….was that my true essence?

No that was me in exile.

I chose to exile myself because I was beyond terrified to be exiled by everyone else.

And so I complied to the systems that society has placed us in….

Which are all designed to keep us numb, going through the motions, in a state of survival, worry & fear. {sound familiar?}
Stuck in the middle zone. Not really alive but not dead either.

But here’s the thing that I know to be absolute truth for myself and my clients…..

What is on the other side of choosing yourself, not complying, not staying bound by the systems and taking yourself out of the internal exile is the freedom you seek…..Is the freedom that you think you’re going to find with the drugs, alcohol, consumerism - that’s an illusion.

Choosing yourself and not complying is truth.
It’s love.

And the people that you were terrified would exile you….they might exile you, they might banish you - but they were never your people to begin with. That was an illusion.

When you choose yourself.
Stand fully in your authentic self.
In your medicine.
In your sovereign self.

Your people will flock to you.
They are truth.
You are truth.

And when you are truth….when the micro is truth - the macro becomes truth.
#sovereign