You are the Antidote.
Recently I ended up in a conversation where I was defending my sobriety.
The statement made to me was….’You’ve done so much healing work…..you should be able to handle having a few drinks.’
I should be able to handle alcohol now….
Should.
But….what if I can’t? What if I had a few drinks right now and it sent me in a tailspin?
Does that mean there is something wrong with me?
No.
There is something wrong with society. There is something wrong with the systems and the ‘should’s’ that are placed on everyone. The box that is trying to confine us.
It’s broken, not us.
The system that says we should look a certain way,
Should follow a certain path,
Should get the thing,
Should make so much money,
Should get the degree,
Should be able to handle constantly working, burning ourselves out & staying on the hamster wheel,
Should put on a brave face & soldier on,
Should be able to fit in the mold that the patriarchy has cast.
The ‘should’…..that I should be able to handle alcohol & be a normal drunk held me back from giving up alcohol for years.
All I wanted was to be a normal drunk, to be able to have a few drinks with my friends & then go home, to be able to handle alcohol.
I couldn’t handle alcohol and when I sit with the question could I handle alcohol now…..my intuition says no….
And then the next layer within says…..I don’t want to handle alcohol now.
I don’t want to handle alcohol now or ever.
I like me sober.
I love me sober.
I choose me sober.
My life is 1000 times more fulfilled sober.
It’s raw, it’s real, it’s messy, it’s me in all of my authenticity.
It’s me dancing to the beat of my own drum.
It’s me fully alive in the pleasure & the pain of this human experience.
It’s me choosing what works for me every single day…..
&
Every time we choose what works for us as opposed to what society deems we should be doing….that is us breaking free from the matrix, from the systems that keep humans bound.
That is us breaking free from a system that is broken.
That is the antidote.
That is the magic.