WEAVING THE WEB.
With each turning of the wheel, each lap around the sun my true north, my internal compass descends deeper into the earth.
The maiden in me used to be consumed with people pleasing, scattered dreams, constantly seeking to be enough. The quest for eternal youth, for looking a certain way, for being enough just as I was. It’s a system designed to keep all of us constantly looking for something that doesn’t exist. The quest for eternal youth, for flawless skin, the perfect body, to look fresh & sun kissed upon awakening. The maiden seeking for what has been deemed enough by a vision that disappears upon arriving. Constantly on the quest, on the labyrinth that has no end….the next perfect thing. The illusion that keeps us outside of ourselves…
and with each passing sun my quest descends deeper into the earth, deeper within like a notch that has plunged a great depth, a drop farther from the shoulds, scattered dreams, people pleasing to the Queen sat on her throne, webbed to her truth like a spider has spun her silk bound to her north.
Each plunge taking me deeper into my body, magnetizing me deeper to the Mother, a deep drop from the thinking realms into the embodied truth.
The embodied truth that has landed me at my 41st Solar return with these insights:
fearing aging and constantly trying to turn the clock back is a shackle that keeps us hidden from our truth
that keeps us searching outside of ourselves
that keeps us where the patriarch wants us
the patriarch fears a woman that embraces aging
she is a ferocious force that is seriously unimpressed with the systems shit
I did not turn 29 again, did that once & have absolutely no desire to do it again
I turned 41
giving zero fucks is a real thing
but
keeping the fucks for the things that matter, like really matter
boundaries clear the space & quieten the noise
I don’t have to reply to the email, the text message, return the call until I want to, until I am ready….and neither do you
explanations are not necessary
busy ness does not determine my worth, I do
the earth is wise, ancient & holy
my body is wise, ancient & holy
and no matter how much pushing, forcing, over-thinking…
the earth & the body always have the last say
40 is not the new 20
thats a lie…..
20 was head stuck in the sand seeking external validation
40 is freedom
flawless skin has been replaced with seeing through the bullshit,
wisdom, deeper connection and experience
the fine lines a weaving web telling the story of the failures, successes, loves & loss
the story of a life being lived
the freedom that comes with aging looks a lot like being unapologetically you….letting go of the notion that you have to be a certain way to be accepted in a paradigm that has been designed to exile everyone and reconnecting to the truth that is embedded in the bones of this earth we rose from.
